Near and Far

I often find myself tempted to try to "figure out" God's plan for salvation - to try to discern who in my life will next receive God's grace and become "saved."

I remember a few years ago when I first realized the foolishness of this all. To think that there are always signs to indicate where God's spirit is going to move and whose hearts are going to be changed.

Because people are fickle and deceitful and misleading, and God is not.

How many times have you thought you were making progress with someone spiritually, sharing the Gospel with them, looking for signs that their heart was softening, only for them to almost "lead you on" in a spiritual sense? They visit church a few times or maybe even start attending regularly, they read the Bible, or at least talk about intending to explore the Bible, but eventually you realize they are not really changing. They are still hardened.

And how many people know of someone so hard, so hurt, so angry, so evil, who was changed by God instantly? In a moment, the Holy Spirit entered into their unlikely heart and their ungodly life and transformed them forever in the name of Jesus Christ. Think of Paul on the road to Damascus. Think of the friend you know who was literally saved by Jesus while high on drugs, on the brink of suicide, at a treatment facility for any number of disorders or addictions. Think about those who are saved while serving a life sentence in prison for horrific crimes.

I personally know people who were saved by Jesus in some of those situations above. They did not appear to be seeking the Lord. They were not searching. They might have even openly admitted a hatred or at least a mistrust or an unbelief in God, and yet He invaded their lives at exactly the right time.

This is not to discount that a slowly softening heart is sometimes an indicator of God's grace in someone's life. Sometimes it really does happen in the pretty, predictable way. You invite a friend to church. They might say no at first and then they accept. They are interested. They have questions. They seek your counsel. You point them to the Bible. You might point them to another Christian leader. They are open to God's word and over the course of days, weeks, months, or maybe years, they learn and trust that Christ is their Savior.

But there are also people who appear to begin this journey to salvation only to harden their hearts repeatedly or more deeply during the process. They might go to church and mock it. They might read the Bible only to scrutinize it in their unbelief. They might ask questions only in a prideful attempt to baffle or argue with believers. Although at first this interest can look like a spiritual awakening of sorts, it is really only a hardened heart actively attacking the church instead of living in apathy like many other unbelievers.

My point to all this is that I have had to destroy the conceptions in my own mind that I can figure out who God is going to save. Sometimes He saves through an invite to church, sometimes He saves in the midst of a drug overdose. I don't know what God is going to do, because He is so powerful and mysterious in a beautiful way.

All I know is this:

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience--among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved... -Ephesians 2:1-5

We are all dead before Jesus invades our hearts and lives and makes us alive. I once was dead, and God made me alive in Christ. God can save those who seem near to knowing Him and those who seem far, far away from ever loving Him. There are no limits to God's grace. And, really, whether we seem near or far does not change the fact that we are dead without Christ. You can't be more dead than dead, regardless of whether or not you have ever visited a church or read the Bible. So instead of trying to figure out who God might save next, I want to live a life where I passionately share the Gospel with all, because God in His great mercy sometimes saves those who seem near and sometimes saves those who seem far away.

Humble AND Gentle AND Patient AND Loving!?!?

I am reading Ephesians now. I'm making my way backward through GEPC (General Electric Power Company, God Eats Peanutbutter Cookies... yes, I know Peanut Butter is two words, but that is how my Young Life leader taught me... or just Galatians/Ephesians/Philippians/Colossians if you prefer to be traditional). I have been enjoying my time going through these books slowly, concentrating on just a few verses a day, and I have a bunch of posts on Philippians and Colossians partially written. I promise I will get them up soon.

But I thought for now, I would focus on today's reading, because today's reading helped me TODAY. Isn't is lovely how God's Word does just that? If we are faithful to read His Word, He is faithful to teach our hearts how to apply it. In Isaiah 55:11 it says: "For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. His Word does not return to Him empty. I think sometimes we think this verse just applies to sharing the Gospel with unbelievers. We know that God is at work in people's hearts when we share His Word, whether or not we see results. But the same is true in our own lives. When we read the Word or hear the Word preached, God is at work. Just because I am already a Christian doesn't mean that God's Word has any less of an impact on my life. And today was the perfect example of that.

This morning I read the first part of Ephesians 4, which reads:
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. - Ephesians 4:1-3

Lately, I've been dwelling on this idea of living a life worthy of God's calling. Or at least I thought I had been dwelling on it, until today when my Bible footnotes convicted me of what a worthy life really looks like. The footnotes after this verse kindly pointed out that the life of one striving to love Christ will be marked by humility, gentleness, patience, and love for others DAILY.

Eeek. I happen to struggle quite a bit with some of those traits. Okay, all of them. Why can't it say be disciplined and generous (I'm far from perfect, but I feel like I have a better grasp on those two). But it doesn't say that. It says I should be humble AND gentle AND patient AND loving.  And it's not a grab bag. I can't work on being patient today and focus on loving tomorrow. We are called to be like Christ in His utter humility and His alluring gentleness AND His everlasting patience AND His undserved love EVERY day. Can you say "conviction?"

So I walked around campus today, thinking about this verse from time to time. (Because God, by His grace and power, was teaching my heart to meditate on His Word, even though I wasn't consciously choosing to do so....like I said His Word does not return to Him empty). And when I got home, God put me to the test. I went running after school and when I got back to our apartment around 5:30 I was hot and sweaty and anxious to jump in the shower. But I saw that Micah had just called me and seeing that it was his first day at a new job and we hadn't solidified our plans for the evening and he always gets on me for not answering my phone, I decided I should probably call him back. But my heart did not want to. Not because I didn't want to talk to him; I was very excited to hear about his first day on the job, but I didn't want to talk to him before I took a shower. I just wanted to take a shower and for him to come home while I was getting dinner started and then we could talk over dinner. That was my plan. It made sense. It was convenient. A phone call before showering was not convenient. But I called him anyway. However, I quickly became annoyed that we were talking on the phone when we could be talking in person in ten minutes, so I asked to get off the phone so I could jump in the shower. Even when I was off the phone, I felt myself annoyed. Annoyed that talking on the phone for five minutes delayed my shower for five minutes, which would undoubtedly delay dinner by five minutes which might throw off all our plans for the evening. Being way too transparent in my thought process right now... but that's what it was....controlling, selfish, sinful.

But then, thankfully, I remembered my verse. I took a deep breath and thought "I am supposed to be humble and gentle and patient and loving. I am pretty sure to be irritated when Micah gets home from his first day at a new job is the opposite of living a worthy life. It's funny (and sad) how I can get so upset over five minutes that don't go according to my plan. So I sucked it up and got over it. I welcomed Micah home with joy instead of frustration, because God is faithful to teach us how to apply His commands when we meet with Him and delve into learning His statues, His character, and His ways.