You know I'm bad, I'm bad - You know it...

So Michael Jackson got something right... we are bad. I am bad. You are bad. He was bad (I'm not even going to go there...)

This isn't my most uplifting post, but it is meant to be humbling...and when you are humbled, I hope you turn fully and joyfully to your Savior, Jesus. So I guess, in a sense, this post might be uplifting after all...

I just want to take a moment to remind you...and myself... that we are not good. Psalm 53 says: God looks down from heaven on the children of man to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. They have all fallen away; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one (53:2-3).

Not even one. We are not good. We do not seek God of our own accord. We don't please Him. We don't have anything worthy to offer Him. Isaiah says that even our most righteous deeds are like a "polluted garment" or a "filthy rag" in the eyes of God (Isaiah 64:6). Apart from Christ, we are despicable in the eyes of a holy God and rightfully so.

So why do we spend so much time thinking we are good? Thinking we are right? Thinking we are entitled to certain things? A house, a car, a job, friends who love us, family who supports us, happiness, health, money in our savings account? That we deserve to be respected, loved, praised, admired, comforted or encouraged? We don't deserve these things. But admit it, even when you say that Jesus is your everything and acknowledge with your lips that you deserve nothing, you don't always live your life thinking that way. At least I know I don't....

The Bible is clear that we deserve death for our sins (Romans 6:23), and anything less than that is by the grace of God. Even the very air we breathe each day is an undeserved gift from a good God. However, I can say those words with my mouth, but I don't necessarily always live those words by the way I act and, especially, by the way I think...

Because when I am wronged, I think it's not fair. When I am frustrated, I want a fast fix to my problem. When I am sinned against, I want an apology. I want repentance. I want a resolution. I may say I don't deserve my health, my wealth or my happiness, but my negative, selfish attitude when things go wrong would indicate otherwise...

So stop for a moment today, and ask God to open your eyes to the truth. When you find yourself frustrated or feeling wronged and resentful, pause in prayer and ask God's Spirit to fill you with truth. Ask the Holy Sprit to overcome your fleshly ideas of entitlement and speak the Word of God to yourself, "there is none who does good, not even one."

But don't stop there. Think of Chirst. Who came. For you. Who died for you, even though you do not deserve it. Who suffered through a death that HE DID NOT DESERVE. He was entitlted. He belonged in heaven, yet he came to earth. He was supposed to wear crown and not one made of thorns. He deserved honor and instead he got a death sentence. Christ, who deserves every title of glory, praise, honor, and fame, became disentitled for you and for me.

What a beautiful gift. It is my hope that after you ponder, seriously, your own depravity, your own filth, your own incapability of doing anything good on your own, you will turn to Christ. And you will see His purity. His goodness. His utter holiness. And you will know that His righteousness is yours, not because of anything you have done, but because He came to make you new and clean. And that you will live and love and forgive joyfully because of the One who became disentitled to give you a new title... Child of God (I John 3:10).

Tidbits from Psalm 51

Psalm 51 is one of my favortite Psalms of all time. It's the Psalm David wrote after the prophet Nathan confronted him about his affair with Bathsheba and his murder of Bathsheba's huband. Although it was deeply personal for David, it also sets a beautiful example of what our hearts should look like before the Lord as we humbly seek His forgiveness...

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions." (V1)-  Here we see that God forgives us, not because of we deserve it. He forgives us according to His great name and character. He forgives us because He is the source of all love and mercy. He is love. He is mercy. Therefore, He forgives dirty sinners like us. It's for His name and His glory. What a great reminder to approach God with awe and humility. We have no worthiness to provoke His forgiveness. We are not entitled to His mercy.

"Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight..." (V4) - Our sin is against God. Yes, we can sin against others as well, hurt them, harm them, betray them, but ultimately our sin is against our sinless and Holy God. How often do I forget how depraved I really am in comparison to my absolutely pure and faithful God? But this verse reminds me time and time again to confess the utter failings of my heart to my forgiving God, instead of slipping into the pride and deceit of thinking "I'm not so bad..."

"Let the bones you have broken rejoice..." (V8) - The pain of God's discipline and conviction shoould lead to joyful repentnce! God' "breaks our bones" in a spiritual sense to ultimately heal us from sin and strengthen us in holiness.

"Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you." (V13) - The story of our own salvation and ongoing repentance should be shared. God's redemption in our own lives IS the Gospel and we are called to share it with others. God's work in our lives is a tool He uses to draw other sinners to Himself. So be honest about your sin and give the glory to God for the way He continues to save you from your flesh day after day!

"For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (V16-17) - God cares about our hearts more than our actions. He doesn't want religious followers who sacrifice and perform deeds out of a sense of pride or fear. Instead, He wants believers that do good works because of a heart that loves and worships a good God. Notice all the verses above reflect a heart that is contrite. Humbly asking for the Lord's mercy, humbly admitting sin, joyfully thanking God for His forgiveness, and joyfully sharing the Gospel. God delights in a humble, joyful heart.

Reward?

I am departing a bit from my usual structure of simply reflecting about what I am reading in God's Word during my own quiet times...

This past week at our Missional Community Group, we somehow stumbled upon discussing the idea of "reward" in heaven. One guy in our group asked "If I want to out-do people on earth, so I have more reward than them in heaven, is that wrong?" Yes, our pastor replied. Thank goodness. I don't think acting out of "selfish ambition" (Philippians 2 happened to be what were studying that night) - sinfully competing with your neighbor to earn God's blessing - is really going to get you any type of reward on earth OR in heaven.

A girl in our group quickly piped up and said that JESUS is our reward in heaven, which was considered the "John Piper" answer.

And another guy asked, why use the term "reward" at all then, if reward just means salvation or eternal life with Christ?

For some reason, I felt really fired up about all this. How could anyone even compare our idea of earthly rewards (money, fame, material goods, comfort, praise and acknowledgement) to the glory and goodness of KNOWING God and living eternally with Him? First, I have to admit that a few years ago, I might have had some of the same questions about reward, but as I see more and more of God's grace and goodness  in my own life, and reflect on the love He has for me that covers all my awful sin, the last thing in the world I am thinking about is what kind of "rewards" I will get in heaven. Are you kidding me? I get to go to heaven?!?!

So this conviction led me back to the Bible to search out what God really says about reward. For some reason, over the past twenty years or so (or maybe it just seems like the last twenty years, because those are the years I have been alive to see), it seems like there has been this growing idea about reward in heaven, an obsession with being honored by God there, the whole idea that good deeds on earth will result in jewels in one's crown later on or gifts or prizes or something like that.

But the Bible doesn't really talk about reward as jewels at all. Here are some examples:

God to Abram (soon to be Abraham): After these things the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: "Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great." (Genesis 15:1) This is right before God takes Abram outside to count the stars... indicating that the heritage God will build through Abram's line will be vast. The blessing is getting to be the earthly "father" of God's people. God's heritage. His sons and daughters. His blessed Israel. Pretty amazing reward if you ask me...better than a jewel in a crown or some heavenly sports car.

The Psalmist David writes in reference to God's commands: "Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward." (Psalm 19:11). What is the reward here? Well, first of all following God's Word prevents us from folly and hardship (it "warns" us about sin). But secondly, the reward of following God is to have assurance of salvation and ever-increasing growth of character. The reward is being a more holy, obedient child of God. The reward is NOT trying to be more obedient so God will reward you.

Jesus says to his disciples "But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." (Matthew 6:6). I don't know exactly what Jesus meant by this (he said the same thing about the discipline of fasting as well... but here it seems to indicate some kind of earthly blessing. Intimacy with God perhaps. God's favor toward the prayer itself. Some kind of other blessing for obedience. It seems like a simple example of the way that God longs to reward and bless his obedient children during their earthly lives.

Paul says: What then is my reward? That in my preaching I may present the gospel free of charge, so as not to make full use of my right in the gospel. (I Corinthians 9:18). Here Paul is talking about his responsibility and calling to share the Gospel. His reward IS getting to share the Gospel. How I wish I could be more like Paul....

And now my two favorites...

The writer of Hebrews, in the Hall of Faith, explains that Moses chose to forsake his comfortable Egyptian upbringing to live with his poor, enslaved Israelite poeple because "He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward" (Hebrews 11:26). Moses not really know of Christ like we know of Him. He probably had some vague idea that God would send a Messiah, but even that was probably pretty hazy. Yet, he was willing to suffer as Christ did, because He knew that God was great and worth suffering for. His reward was in heaven. In this same passage, the writer talks about all those who died without seeing much, if any, earthly blessing for their faith. Abel was brutally murdered by his brother. Noah lived through the flood. Abraham wandered around and lived in tents in order to obey God. Yet these men "all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth... But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city." (Hebrews 11:13-16). The reward for their faith is to dwell with God in a heavenly city. I can't wait until the day I am there with them!

And finally, I think Colossians 3 says it best: "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward (Colossians 3:23-24). Our inheritance is life with God. To be counted as sons and daughters of the Lord God Almighty. To be the brothers and sisters of our Savior Jesus Christ. Everything else pales in comparison. Any other blessing or reward is "rubbish" compared to knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8).

I'm not saying that blessings won't abound in heaven. I can't even imagine the goodness that awaits us there. The Bible doesn't say that much about it in detail, but Jesus promised he has prepared a place for us there, and I know there is going to be an amazing feast when the bridegroom, Jesus, celebrates with His bride, the chuch. Other than that, I don't really know what heavens rewards will look like... except that I know I will get to see the Father and the Son face to face, and there is NO better reward than that.

"Indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance..." -Psalm 16:6

Trusting in Chariots

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God."

--Psalm 20:7

I am making my way through the Psalms once again (just read 37 today - a favorite), but I keep coming back to this idea I read earlier about trusting in chariots. How often do I trust in chariots instead of trusting in the Lord?

In the days the Psalms were written, chariots and horses were important. Psalm 20 is a Psalm of David. David was a mighty war hero and he used chariots and horses all the time. During his reign, the Israelites finally defeated many of their idol-worshiping, pagan enemies and claimed the Promised Land for Israel. The boundaries of Israel were constantly expanding and God's people were blessed. Basically, David was in his chariot A LOT. He was fighting other kingdoms that also had chariots and horses and other military equipment, and these tools and vehicles were often the deciding factor in who won the battle. Usually, he who had the most chariots claimed the victory. But David knew that God's strength is not contingent on man-made chariots. Sure, chariots were useful, but ultimately God decides the outcome of every battle, every challenge, every trial. And many times throughout the Old Testament, God gave victory to His people despite their lack of forces, horses, or weapons. God is sovereign over everything and He always has good planned for those who follow Him. We are just called to trust Him.

So what are the chariots I trust today? What chariots are you trusting? Now that I have this degree, I can finally get this job. Now that I have this new computer, my design company will take off. Now that I have this volunteer experience on my resume, I will get into grad school. Now that I lost ten pounds, I will finally feel confident and healthy. Now that I read this new article, maybe I can finally get my baby to sleep through the night. Now that I heard this speaker/read this book/downloaded this sermon, maybe I can finally overcome this sin that is plaguing me. If only we could buy a new house, we could finally be more hospitable and offer to host our Bible study. If we could only save up X amount of money, we could buy this item, start this program, donate to this cause. The list goes on and on. I am only trying to think of examples that seem relevant to the women in my own life.

A chariot is something that is good, useful, a blessing even, but it's also something that threatens to steal our trust. If we put our faith in chariots instead of in the Lord, we are foolish. God will decide if and when our business takes off or whether or not we get into grad school. He is sovereign over parenthood and those first uncertain, exhausting months of motherhood. He is sovereign over who reads our resume and whether or not we are hired for a job. He is the giver of our house and our money and has commanded us to be hospitable and genrerous, despite the number in our bank accounts or the square footage of our home. God is always good, and we are called to trust Him. We can be thankful for the chariots He has given us - the talents, material items, money, experiences that help us succeed in various worldly pursuits, but we must know that even if we lose those chariots, God is still good and He has promised to provide for us. He doesn't need chariots to bless or protect His children.