Humble AND Gentle AND Patient AND Loving!?!?

I am reading Ephesians now. I'm making my way backward through GEPC (General Electric Power Company, God Eats Peanutbutter Cookies... yes, I know Peanut Butter is two words, but that is how my Young Life leader taught me... or just Galatians/Ephesians/Philippians/Colossians if you prefer to be traditional). I have been enjoying my time going through these books slowly, concentrating on just a few verses a day, and I have a bunch of posts on Philippians and Colossians partially written. I promise I will get them up soon.

But I thought for now, I would focus on today's reading, because today's reading helped me TODAY. Isn't is lovely how God's Word does just that? If we are faithful to read His Word, He is faithful to teach our hearts how to apply it. In Isaiah 55:11 it says: "For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. His Word does not return to Him empty. I think sometimes we think this verse just applies to sharing the Gospel with unbelievers. We know that God is at work in people's hearts when we share His Word, whether or not we see results. But the same is true in our own lives. When we read the Word or hear the Word preached, God is at work. Just because I am already a Christian doesn't mean that God's Word has any less of an impact on my life. And today was the perfect example of that.

This morning I read the first part of Ephesians 4, which reads:
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. - Ephesians 4:1-3

Lately, I've been dwelling on this idea of living a life worthy of God's calling. Or at least I thought I had been dwelling on it, until today when my Bible footnotes convicted me of what a worthy life really looks like. The footnotes after this verse kindly pointed out that the life of one striving to love Christ will be marked by humility, gentleness, patience, and love for others DAILY.

Eeek. I happen to struggle quite a bit with some of those traits. Okay, all of them. Why can't it say be disciplined and generous (I'm far from perfect, but I feel like I have a better grasp on those two). But it doesn't say that. It says I should be humble AND gentle AND patient AND loving.  And it's not a grab bag. I can't work on being patient today and focus on loving tomorrow. We are called to be like Christ in His utter humility and His alluring gentleness AND His everlasting patience AND His undserved love EVERY day. Can you say "conviction?"

So I walked around campus today, thinking about this verse from time to time. (Because God, by His grace and power, was teaching my heart to meditate on His Word, even though I wasn't consciously choosing to do so....like I said His Word does not return to Him empty). And when I got home, God put me to the test. I went running after school and when I got back to our apartment around 5:30 I was hot and sweaty and anxious to jump in the shower. But I saw that Micah had just called me and seeing that it was his first day at a new job and we hadn't solidified our plans for the evening and he always gets on me for not answering my phone, I decided I should probably call him back. But my heart did not want to. Not because I didn't want to talk to him; I was very excited to hear about his first day on the job, but I didn't want to talk to him before I took a shower. I just wanted to take a shower and for him to come home while I was getting dinner started and then we could talk over dinner. That was my plan. It made sense. It was convenient. A phone call before showering was not convenient. But I called him anyway. However, I quickly became annoyed that we were talking on the phone when we could be talking in person in ten minutes, so I asked to get off the phone so I could jump in the shower. Even when I was off the phone, I felt myself annoyed. Annoyed that talking on the phone for five minutes delayed my shower for five minutes, which would undoubtedly delay dinner by five minutes which might throw off all our plans for the evening. Being way too transparent in my thought process right now... but that's what it was....controlling, selfish, sinful.

But then, thankfully, I remembered my verse. I took a deep breath and thought "I am supposed to be humble and gentle and patient and loving. I am pretty sure to be irritated when Micah gets home from his first day at a new job is the opposite of living a worthy life. It's funny (and sad) how I can get so upset over five minutes that don't go according to my plan. So I sucked it up and got over it. I welcomed Micah home with joy instead of frustration, because God is faithful to teach us how to apply His commands when we meet with Him and delve into learning His statues, His character, and His ways.

Love is Obedience

I just finished reading John 15, which just has to be one of the most beautiful passages of the whole Bible. Jesus is the vine. We are His branches. We are to spend our lives on this earth bearing fruit for God's glory, and in that we will find joy and our "joy will be full" (John 15:11).

But to abide in Christ, the vine, means we must love Him, and there is a little twist to loving Christ; it means we must obey Him. There is really no getting around this in Scripture. I can't love Christ and disobey Him. I can't love Christ and obey Him most of the time or when its conveninent or easy. In John 14, Jesus says "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (v.15), and then again is John 15, He says "You are my friends if you do what I command you" (v.14). Sometimes this obedience "if" is a big "IF". My pathetic, selfish heart does not always want to obey God. Now that I am married, my biggest tester of obedience is Micah (whether he knows it or not), because I see him so much more than anyone else. Micah is an amazing husband, but he's not perfect. There are times when Micah is legitimately sinful toward me (and, of course, I sin against him as well), and it's in these moments when I look at Micah's sin that I feel myself not wanting to obey Christ. What I want to do is point out Micah's sin, at least once, maybe twice, get angry, then give him the silent treatment, and resent him for the next couple of days. Then I remember that the Bible tells women to win over their husbands with their "respectful and pure conduct" (I Peter 3:1, even if their husbands are unbelievers! How much more should I respect my husband who is a believer? And that's when I have to stomp out my pride and show God my love by obeying Him, which means forgiving my husband and talking about things patiently when I am hurt or mad. It's not always fun, but I can say that it leads to so much more joy in my marriage than harboring bitterness or erupting in anger.

And I will leave you with one my all time favorite C.S. Lewis quotes:

I may repeat 'Do unto others' till I am black in the face, but I cannot really carry it out till I love my neighbor as myself:  and I cannot love my neighbor as myself till I learn to love God: and I cannot learn to love God except by learning to obey Him. 

God's Goodness

Sometimes when I think about God's goodness, I cry. Not like bawl-my-eyes-out cry. But I think about God's goodness in my life and how I don't deserve it AT ALL and I get teary-eyed. I don't bawl my eyes out, because these moments are bittersweet. I realize my own depravity, but then I am overwhelmed with God's power and overjoyed by his goodness. This causes tears to well up that never actually fall. I remember on my wedding day, when I was waiting downstairs with my dad, about to walk down the aisle, and "How He Loves Us" by David Crowder came on. I was so overwhelmed by God's goodness in that moment. I got teary-eyed just thinking of God's relentless love for me, a love I do not deserve.

Ezra and Nehemiah also knew of God's goodness. Although Ezra and Nehemiah's books come fairly early in the Old Testament (before Psalms and Proverbs), they actually record some of the very last events of the OT. Ezra and Nehemiah were prophets who returned to Jerusalem after the exile. They were both granted permission to return by the Persian king (the empire that ousted Babylon), and were two of the main leaders in the rebuilding of the desolated Jerusalem. Ezra arrived first and was responsible for encouraging the Israelites to rebuild the temple. He also studied Mosiaic law, and taught the people the specific commandments of the Lord, which had long been forgotten. Nehemiah arrived about fifteen years later and orchestrated the building of a wall around the new, much smaller, city of Jerusalem. Nehemiah also played a part in praying on behalf of His people and convicting them of sin. He also acted as a liason between Persia and Jerusalem, and was eventually appointed governor of Jerusalem.

The thing is... both these men were faithful to the Lord and their people in Jerusalem during a very difficult time. Faced with the task of rebuilding and repopulating a city, restoring proper temple worship, reinforcing the law of God, cleansing the people from sin (including mixed marriages again), dealing with opposition from surrounding peoples, and trying to live independently while under Persian rule, Ezra and Nehemiah did not have the easiest life of ministry. However, they knew that God was good. When Ezra was released by the king of Persia, Artaxerxes, to return to Jerusalem, it was because "the good hand of God was on him" (Ezra 7:9). When Ezra realized that there were no Levites in the group returning to Jerusalem, he sent for some. When a faithful group of Levites arrived to join them on their journey, Ezra knew this was done "by the good hand of our God on us (Ezra 8:18). Years later, when Nehemiah felt the call of God to go and rebuild Jerusalem, he asked King Artaxerxes for leave to return to Jerusalem. When the king granted his request, Nehemiah knew that "the good hand of the my God was upon me" (Nehemiah 2:8).

There is lots of talk of God's goodness in the Old Testament. From the very beginning, the things God created on earth were "good." There are also countless references to God's hand and his arm. His "outstretched arm" is a figurative term for God's absolute power over the proceedings of the earth. Moses and the Israelites knew all about God's outstretched arm in the wilderness, when God provided for them and saved them again and again. Here, at the end of the Old Testament, when things are bleak and uncertain for the Israelites as they return to their desolated city, God is still good. Ezra and Nehemiah and the people of Jerusalem can trust God's goodness, His provision, His care for His people, because His good hand acts upon the goodness of His heart.