A Change of Mind...and Heart

So I've been thinking quite a bit this past week about ending this blog, and I might even go so far as to say I have been convicted about it. For some reason, God keeps placing it on my heart that this blog is significant. I don't really know why. I don't really think it's a phenomenal blog, but I've been thinking a lot about my other blog, where Micah and I tell funny stories about life in Arizona and the adventures of being newlyweds, and I've just been realizing that this blog is so much more important than that one. The other blog isn't bad. It's a lovely, funny glimpse into our lives, and I know our parents love reading it since we are so far away from them. But I am reminded daily, by the prompting of God's Spirit, that this blog, right here, is a meaningful endeavor to which God has called me.

Now granted, this blog does not have many followers and my other blog gets way more hits each day. But I know that the words here encourage certain women in my life (thank you all for your lovely comments), and I just think there is something valuable in that. I was talking to my best friend a few months ago, and she was explaining how so many of the stories in the Bible are new to her. She did not grow up in a Christian household and became a Christian after college. Her faith and her story are beautiful to me, and I love that she is so eager to learn more about the Bible. How often do I take for granted my own knowledge about the Bible? I was blessed to grow up in Christian home, go to a Christian elementary school, even to fall under the instruction of some amazing teachers at my church in college. I had the books of the Bible memorized by 2nd grade and could explain the main differences between Elijah and Elisha by the 3rd grade (Elijah came first, because "j" comes before "sh"...never forgot that little trick). But I am not normal. God has given me the gift of being raised to know His Word, and I want to share that gift with others. He has also given me the spiritual gift of teaching (which I realize everytime I find myself in classroom full of teenagers and somehow find myself at home there, despite my limited education, background, or skill as an educator), and He has given me the earthly talent of writing fairly well. Ever since middle school, I have always, always wondered how He wanted me to use writing for His glory, and this blog seems to be one simple way of doing just that. Truth be told, one of the biggest sins of my youth was not obeying the Lord, despite all I knew about His Word and His character. I wasted so many years of high school and college not really loving the Lord with my whole heart (and therefore not really obeying Him because the two go hand in hand), even though He had blessed me with so many opportunities to know Him and love Him and obey Him.

So here's the deal... I want to honor God with this blog.... even if that means encouraging or teaching the five or ten women who read it regularly. This blog is not perfect. I sometimes get nervous that some great pastor is going to stumble across this blog (I'm thinking of John Piper or C.J. Mahaney or Mark Driscoll here... as if they would ever spend their time reading my blog... ha!!!) and tell me that parts of it are theologically unsound. I pray that I am staying true to Scripture in what I write, and I rely heavily on the ESV Study Bible commentators to keep me on track. I want women to be able to use this Bible as a resource, whether they are looking for encouragement with a certain struggle or want to study a certain section of Scripture when preparing for a Bible study. Now I know there are many blogs that provide resources far better than mine (http://www.desiringgod.org/ is a favorite when prepping to teach a Bible study), but I want to use what God has given to me and share it with other women. So unless I hear God calling me in another direction, Flowers Fade is here to stay, and I plan to make it more searchable as it grows, so you can look up entries by topic or by book of the Bible. Thank you for being a part of this ongoing journey. I hope you are blessed by reading this blog as much as I am blessed to write it.