The Heart of God

As I feared, it is getting hard to keep up on Bible reading and blogging as the wedding approaches. I am running a day or two behind in reading, but God has graciously been providing time to catch up here and there. I was also sick for about a week, ended the school year, and flew to Texas, so life has been crazy. I am back in Washington now, feeling better, and just trying to use my time efficiently each and every day as there are many wedding details and decisions to sort out over the next two and half weeks.

My Bible reading has been difficult for the past few weeks because each day the reading jumps back and forth between Kings and Chronicles, as I read about the divided kingdoms of Israel and Judah, their many kings (all of whom have the same two names it seems... either a variation of Joash or Asa or something like that...some of them even have two different spellings for their own name...very confusing if you ask me), and both the obedience and apostasy of the people during different kings' reigns. Basically, as I read, instead of  trying to figure out which king is which, what year it is, what city is being discussed, I narrow it down to two questions: is this a king of Judah or Israel? and is this a good king, who "did what was good and right in the eyes of the Lord" (2 Chronicles 14:2) or is this a king that "did what was evil in the sight of the Lord" (2 Kings 13:2). As confusing as it has been at times, watching Israel's inconsistent obedience is a reminder to remain faithful and obedient to Lord at all times. To stray from Him ultimiately leads to destruction in so many ways.

Today though, I got to detour from Kings and Chronicles, and read through Jonah, one of the first minor prophets. The introduction to the book of Jonah asked a great question that I have been pondering all day...do I have a heart that is like the heart of God? Pretty much anyone who attended Sunday school in their youth knows that story of Jonah and the "great fish." Jonah was being disobedient to God and because of that got swallowed by a big fish. He spent three days inside praying and then the fish "vomited" him out onto dry land. He then reluctantly followed God's plan for him. However, today I realized a deeper theme than just simple obedience versus disobedience. The reason behind Jonah's foolishness in thinking he could flee from God's presence and His plan was because Jonah's heart was not after the heart of God. God wanted Jonah to go to Ninevah, which was not even a city of Israel, but a pagan city of Assyria. God wanted Jonah to prophesy of warning to the people of Ninevah. God wanted the people of that city to repent. God wanted to show the people there mercy and compassion. That was what God wanted to do. That was His heart for both Jonah and the people of Ninevah. Jonah's heart was opposed to this. He didn't want to travel all the way to Ninevah. He didn't want to preach repentace to these people and he really didn't want to see them repent and receive God's mercy. Although he was eventually faithful to the call, he was still irritated that God's plan was to show mercy to these sinful people. The book ends with God's reprimand toward Jonah. It is God's right and for God's glory that He might pity a spiritually unaware people and call them unto Himself (Jonah 4:11).

So question of the day... is my heart like the heart of God? Is your heart like the heart of God? How often do I not chase after the things of God because to stop and help someone, to share a loving rebuke with a friend, to preach the Gospel boldly, to watch someone that has wronged me find forgiveness, would be inconvenient, uncomfortable, or unfair according to my sinful nature? Although my sinful self often wants to be like Jonah, because I find it uncomfortable, scary, or just downright unjust to follow God's will, which pretty much always includes serving others, loving those who wrong you, and preaching and showing grace and forgiveness to everyone because of Christ, I know that the heart of God is perfect. I hope that day by day, by the grace and help of the Holy Spirit, I can conquer the Jonah in me, and be Christ to those around me. Because, ultimately, I am just like the people of Ninevah. I was sinful and spiritual unaware, but I was important to God. He sent His Word to me, loved me, and called me to repenatace. He showed me compassion, mercy, and grace that I do not deserve. I love Him because He first loved me.

Tidbits of Wisdom (not my own)

In the past few days, I have read through all of Song of Solomon and Ecclesiastes. Both are short books, but are comprised of a lot of information to pack into my feeble brain in just four or five days of reading. Instead of picking one theme or topic on which to write, I am going to touch on a few different themes covered by the wisdom writer(s) - possibly Solomon, possibly someone else I have learned from my studies...

Love - Clearly the book Song of Solomon is about love and specifically the anticipation of sexual love in marriage. With my wedding now less than five weeks away, this is clearly a very timely topic for me. I am in the same exact season of life as the betrothed couple speaking in the poem. It was refreshing and almost convicting to read of their godly yearning for one another, and to be encouraged that the sweetness of marriage at the end of the waiting period is so soon to arrive in my own life. Also, the refrain throughout the poem, warning the daughters of Jerusalem to "not stir up or awaken love until it pleases" (SS 2:7) was a comforting reminder that God has a different timeline of love for everybody. Micah and I have a fairly long, drawn out love story. Other people have quick stories of almost instant engagement and marriage. However, each love story is ordained by God and set in motion by His loving hand. We, His children, are to be obedient to wait on His plan, not making a relationship an idol and protecting our purity until the consumation of marriage.

Contentment - The book of Ecclesiastes is so quirky if you ask me. Upon first reading, it seems like the writer is simply the biggest pessimist in the entire world. His constant refrain "All is vanity..." (Ecc. 1:2), can get grating and almost depressing after awhile. However, upon deeper reading, one can see the truth behind his claim and also a hopeful view, despite the raw fact that the world is fleeting. This guy is in the wisdom books for a reason. Despite the truth that the earth is fleeting, that the things of this world are vanity, and that death is imminent, the writer offers great hope and comfort to the reader. The truth of the matter is that God is God and worthy of our reverant fear and our obedience, and despite our sin He has given us many blessings in this depraved world. The wisdom writer urgues us to "eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil which one toils" in the few days of life God has given us on this earth. Instead of being greedy on the one hand, or disgruntled and resentful on the other, we should see each day (whether a day of prosperity or adversity) as a blessing from God and be contented with what God has give us. Contentment is such a simple gift that I am so quick to deny, because I want some new thing or want to change my circumstances in some way. I hope the Holy Spirit will dwell richly within me to constantly teach me to be content with the circumstances and gifts God has given me now, instead of always wanting something more or something different.

Reflection #4 - A word quickly read is quickly lost....

So I am struggling through the reading of Proverbs a bit, simply because it takes me SO long to read each chapter. The current plan has me reading about three chapters per day on average, but it is taking me close to 20 minutes to read one chapter because there are so many notes to read after each verse. What I am learning is that the Proverbs are not disconnected tidbits of wisdom. They follow a few larger themes (wisdom, fear of the Lord, the difference between the wise, the simple, and the scoffers, God's will is useful, practical, happy, etc.) and sometimes a specific chapter will focus in on a more specific motif, even though the verses may seem somewhat sporadic. My study notes will often say: verses 1-9 focus on _________," but then each individual verse/proverb will be explained as well. Basically I get the meaning of the Scripture on a micro and macro level. It's awesome because I am learning a lot and it really unifies the ideas in Proverbs for me, but it also takes my futile little mind a long time to read each chapter. First, I have to try to read the verses without getting all scattered and distracted, and then for each section I have to read the micro level notes and the macro level notes. Basically, I should probably stop blogging and get to reading...