God's Goodness

Sometimes when I think about God's goodness, I cry. Not like bawl-my-eyes-out cry. But I think about God's goodness in my life and how I don't deserve it AT ALL and I get teary-eyed. I don't bawl my eyes out, because these moments are bittersweet. I realize my own depravity, but then I am overwhelmed with God's power and overjoyed by his goodness. This causes tears to well up that never actually fall. I remember on my wedding day, when I was waiting downstairs with my dad, about to walk down the aisle, and "How He Loves Us" by David Crowder came on. I was so overwhelmed by God's goodness in that moment. I got teary-eyed just thinking of God's relentless love for me, a love I do not deserve.

Ezra and Nehemiah also knew of God's goodness. Although Ezra and Nehemiah's books come fairly early in the Old Testament (before Psalms and Proverbs), they actually record some of the very last events of the OT. Ezra and Nehemiah were prophets who returned to Jerusalem after the exile. They were both granted permission to return by the Persian king (the empire that ousted Babylon), and were two of the main leaders in the rebuilding of the desolated Jerusalem. Ezra arrived first and was responsible for encouraging the Israelites to rebuild the temple. He also studied Mosiaic law, and taught the people the specific commandments of the Lord, which had long been forgotten. Nehemiah arrived about fifteen years later and orchestrated the building of a wall around the new, much smaller, city of Jerusalem. Nehemiah also played a part in praying on behalf of His people and convicting them of sin. He also acted as a liason between Persia and Jerusalem, and was eventually appointed governor of Jerusalem.

The thing is... both these men were faithful to the Lord and their people in Jerusalem during a very difficult time. Faced with the task of rebuilding and repopulating a city, restoring proper temple worship, reinforcing the law of God, cleansing the people from sin (including mixed marriages again), dealing with opposition from surrounding peoples, and trying to live independently while under Persian rule, Ezra and Nehemiah did not have the easiest life of ministry. However, they knew that God was good. When Ezra was released by the king of Persia, Artaxerxes, to return to Jerusalem, it was because "the good hand of God was on him" (Ezra 7:9). When Ezra realized that there were no Levites in the group returning to Jerusalem, he sent for some. When a faithful group of Levites arrived to join them on their journey, Ezra knew this was done "by the good hand of our God on us (Ezra 8:18). Years later, when Nehemiah felt the call of God to go and rebuild Jerusalem, he asked King Artaxerxes for leave to return to Jerusalem. When the king granted his request, Nehemiah knew that "the good hand of the my God was upon me" (Nehemiah 2:8).

There is lots of talk of God's goodness in the Old Testament. From the very beginning, the things God created on earth were "good." There are also countless references to God's hand and his arm. His "outstretched arm" is a figurative term for God's absolute power over the proceedings of the earth. Moses and the Israelites knew all about God's outstretched arm in the wilderness, when God provided for them and saved them again and again. Here, at the end of the Old Testament, when things are bleak and uncertain for the Israelites as they return to their desolated city, God is still good. Ezra and Nehemiah and the people of Jerusalem can trust God's goodness, His provision, His care for His people, because His good hand acts upon the goodness of His heart.

The Day of Small Things

So I have made it through the exile of the Israelites, and they have now returned to Jerusalem with a decree from the new governing powers of the Near East (Cyrus and the Persian Empire) that they can and should rebuild their temple that was desecrated by the Babylonians decades ago. It's funny how after all the years of warning that the Israelites received about their sin and the possible consquences of it, the exile seems short. I have spent the past month or two reading about the years leading up to the exile, as prophet after prophet preached and begged Israel to repent, and now I feel like I read about the entire exile period in the past week or so.

Of course, it didn't seem short to them at the time. Living in captivity for 70 years, basically an entire lifetime, and knowing you will probably die before you ever see your homeland again, or realizing that you will never again get to worship your God freely... that experience can never be short enough. I just think of Daniel who lived faithfully in Babylon from his teenage years until the end of his life, just praying the whole time that God would have mercy so that his people could someday return home. And God was gracious and allowed Daniel to see, as an old man, the decree announced that the Israelties may go back to the Promised Land and rebuild their temple. God is meriful. After centuries of warning Israel to turn from their sin, their punishment lasted only decades.

So, now the Isralites are back in their homeland, faced with the task of rebuilding a temple that they feel will never compare to its former glory, facing opposition from local officials who don't want to see the Israelites get too powerful, and feeling like strangers in their own land, as many foreigners have settled there during the years of exile. The Israelites are discouraged and feel like they are living in "the day of small things" (Zech 4:10). Their task with the temple is daunting and slow, their heritage appears to be damaged forever, and they are strangers in their own land, just trying to get by day to day.

How often do we feel like that? I mean, I am not having a crossing the Red Sea on dry land-pillar of smoke-water springing from a rock-killing a giant with a stone-worshiping in a huge temple-defeating armies three times my size kinda day every day. Often my day seems like a day of small things. Doing my work diligently, learning to be a loving wife, challenging myself to serve with joy, smiling at the non-believer when all you really want to do is share the Gospel, but can't seem to find the words... the small things. And the small things aren't bad. Simplicity is a gift from God. God has called us to glorify Him in daily tasks. I Corinthians 10:31 says "whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God." Well, the things I do, most of the time, aren't really that cool. I unload the dishwasher, grade papers, make dinner, go runnning, read my Bible. Yet, God says I am to do these things for His glory. Unload gladly, grade thoroughly with feedback that is helpful and encouraging to my students, provide a meal for my husband, run with a thankful attitude for the fully functioning, healthy body that the Lord has blessed me with, read my Bible with gratitude that I have Scripture available to me and with eagerness that the Lord will lovingly teach me through His word. This is my life. I am to take joy in the day of small things.

And, yet, I never know what the day of small things may bring. As the Israelites were struggling to build the temple, they had no idea what God had in store. Their work had been hindered. They had a foundation to a building and nothing else, and God promised "whoever has despised the day of small things shall rejoice" (Zech. 4:10). God's glorious conclusion to this time of struggle, was that the temple WOULD be rebuilt, a king of David's line would return to the throne eternally (Jesus!), and that God would "remove the iniquity" of his people (Zech. 3:9) and would sow "peace" in his Holy city (Zech. 8:12).

God uses the days of small things to do big, glorious things for His name and His kingdom. Years from now, I hope to look back and see that those nights of unloading the dishwasher and making dinner led to the legacy of a Godly family, that my tedious paper grading led to being able to be a light for Christ in the dark world of today's universities, that the smile I gave to a non-believer eventually turned into a conversation and an authentic relationship in which I was able to share my faith in the Gospel of Christ. If all of my days are a day of small things, I rejoice in that. But I know that God has big things in store, and I am thankful for any way that I get to be a part of them.

Big Prophet, Little Prophet

I am still in the process of trying to recapture my many Bible-related thoughts during the craziness of wedding month (aka wedding/honeymoon/moving to Arizona/starting graduate school month). Life is still insane, but here is my attempt at getting caught up...

So during the many years of Israel and Judah's (divided kingdoms at the time) disobedience to the Lord after the reign of David, there were many, many prophets both warning the people of God's growing wrath toward the sin of His chosen nation and calling the people to repent to escape this wrath. Soon, Israel was exiled and taken off to foreign lands, and Judah still chose to live in disobedience despite the prophets' pleas: "Look what happened to Israel? Do you want that to happen to you too?"

The latter half of the Old Testament is filled with these prophets' stories, messages, and persecutions suffered as the warnings were not heeded by the indignant, sinful Israelite people. Not only has reading through the chronological Bible allowed me to put the scope of these years in perspective (who was preaching when? to whom? during which king's reign? what was the gist of each prophet's message?), but it has also taught me new things about God's character and His commands. Here are some of my thoughts:

Micah 6:8 - One of the most commonly quoted verses from Micah is from chapter 6, verse 8, "...what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?", but my book commentator's gave me a new perspective. This verse describes the three primary froms of love that God requires: 1. justice (do justice) 2. mercy (love kindness) and 3. faithfulness (walk humbly). I should be just and merciful to others, and faithful to the Lord if I truly love God.

Habakkuk 2:4 - I love the reminder here to live by faith even in the darkest of hours - because "the righteous shall live by faith" even when the world seems to be collapsing all around them.

Zephaniah 1:12 - Relating to Habakkuk's message, Zephaniah reminds Judah, who was facing exile and felt abandoned by God - "The Lord will not do good, nor will he do ill" - that God is constantly active in history, despite circumstances that indicate otherwise. What a timeless encouragement for us today as we face the variety of sufferings that we face as humans living in a fallen world.

Reflection #4 - Right Ritual

As I read through II Kings and II Chronicles and the correlating prophets who preached during the time of pre-exilic Judah, I am noticing a common theme. My Bible notes sum it up best: "ritual without faith-based  obedience is unnacceptable to God." The kings and people of Judah (before the consequential exile for their disobedience) were perfectly content to worship Yaweh AND other gods, even though Yaweh had warned the sin and possible conseqences for worshiping other gods. The people of Judah still went through Mosaic ritual, but without any true faith or obedience in the God they were acknowledging. They would offer a sacrifice to Yaweh, and then offer a sacrifice to a sun god the next day. They followed the customs of God, even though they were not willing to obey, love or trust Him in any other context.

How I want to guard against this in my own life. I don't want to read my Bible and then disregard everything it says after my twenty minutes of reading are up. If what I read doesn't change my selfish attitude, increase my love for God, and augment my desire to serve others, then what is the point of my reading ritual? Lord, help me not to blindly follow ritual as the people of pre-exilic Judah did, but help any ritual I follow to be for the purpose of loving You more, knowing You more deeply, and obeying You more willingly.

Tidbits on Psalms and Proverbs

So I am married! The past four weeks have been a whirlwind to say the least. So many best friends coming from out-of-town for the wedding. The wedding itself. Nine day honeymoon in Hawaii. Two chaotic days packing and saying goodbye in Washington. Road trip in a huge Budget truck down the Arizona. Starting school, renting an apartment... it's been crazy!

I was able to keep up on my first goal of maintaining my reading schedule throughout the wedding/moving weeks, but I failed miserably at my other goal of continuing to blog (at least one or twice) during those weeks as well. So here I am. I did, however, jot down blog notes as I read, so I think I am going to give a brief re-cap of my past few weeks of reading. I finished Psalms and Proverbs right before my wedding, and have now read the rest of II Kings, II Chronicles, all of Isaiah, and many of the minor prophets. My thoughts are below:

Psalm 112 - Redemption - There is a note in my Bible that describes the word redemption as the process of "renewing the image of God in man" - since we have clearly so skewed the image of God with our own sin. I love that. Psalm 112 talks about what life is like for the righteous man - one who has been redeemed by God and is able to reflect Him well. This man is not perfect, but "delights in (God's) commands) (v.1) and his "righteousness endures forever" (v.3), as he passes his ways on to future his offspring.

Psalm 135 - His name is beautiful - Psalm 135:3b says "...sing to his name, for it is pleasant." It can also be translated "...sing to his name, for he is beautiful." I love that. God is pleasant. His name is pleasant. We can dwell there. He is beautiful and there is power, joy, and peace in his beautiful name. We can sing to his name, call on his name, rest on his name, rely on his name. And it is good.

Proverbs - The Fool - As I was counting down the days to my wedding, I was also finishing up the book of Proverbs. While I definitely paid attention to Proverbs 31 and the example of the ideal Godly wife (and have already been convicted by this passage multiple times in my brief three and a half weeks of being married), I also found myself drawn to the theme of the fool in Proverbs - and found myself taking careful mental notes on how NOT to be a fool. I can't remember now the exact details I focused on, but I found myself analyzing my own life. Am I quick to anger? Impatient? Am I ever lazy? Do I ever refuse to heed wise counsel? Do I judge? Do I fail to do my work in a timely manner? These are the faults and traits of the fool. Instead I long to be wise and to receive the gift of wisdom from the Lord. I hope to gain wisdom, as the Proverbs advise: "Incline your ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge" (Proverbs 22:17).